Monday 30 January 2012

Snow - and my embarrassing attempts to learn how to ski

Snow is on my mind. The far north is blanketed in the stuff and there's a cold weather alert for the next couple of days, with temperatures predicted to drop to minus ten degrees. Brrrr. 

Further south there have only been a few flakes, but I saw loads of snow yesterday when my son asked me to drive him to Milton Keynes for a snowboarding session. 

SNO!zone (above) boasts an indoor ski slope made of 1,500 tonnes of real snow and he reckoned it would be the perfect place to hone his skills for his forthcoming school trip. He could hardly contain his excitement as he hired his salopettes and board. But I was distinctly underwhelmed. Why? Because just watching the scores of skiers and snowboarders whizzing stylishy down the slope at SNO!zone reminded me of my ultra-unsuccessful attempts to learn to ski.

The first time I tried was at Aviemore, when my mum’s best friend Sally sweetly took me and my sister on a skiing holiday. We travelled overnight from Victoria station on a Wallace Arnold coach and the moment we arrived we headed straight for the beginners' slope.

The biggest ignominy was that neither of us had any proper skiing gear. We’d learned to sail that summer and for some reason everyone thought sailing waterproofs would be fine to ski in. I’ll never forget the horrified look on our ski instructor’s face as we pitched up in bright yellow oilskin trousers and tops (mercifully we left our matching souwesters at home). Worst still was the fact that the oilskins had no grip at all – so every time we fell over (which was a lot in my case) we slid embarrassingly to the bottom of the mountain.

As well as having no aptitude whatsoever for skiing, I couldn’t get to grips with the dreaded T-bar lift at all. Almost every time I used it I fell off halfway and couldn't scramble out of the way fast enough with my skis on. The upshot was that the whole system had to be stopped countless times as irritated instructors hurried across to disentangle me.

As I watched my son zig-zag elegantly down the slope at Milton Keynes I sat in the café and read my book. Skiing and snowboarding are clearly great fun – but they're not for me. 

9 comments:

  1. I have certainly gone down the MK slope! I can do green runs but I hate narrow ski runs and take wide curves-no room at MK for that!

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    1. You are a braver woman than me, Carol. My son says the slope is very gentle but it didn't look that way to me!

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  2. Oh, Emma, the image of you in sailing yellow sliding down an Aviemore slope will linger in the mind a long while :-) I have to admit that I had similar sartorial faux pas as a youth, and now have 'the gear' for nearly every possible eventuality.

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    1. Hi Linsey. It lingers on my mind to this day. I was only about 14 but it was not one of my finer sartorial moments!! It fills me with horror to think about it.

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  3. I have never seen the attraction of skiing - freezing cold, bright red noses and (possibly) broken limbs. I'd skip that bit and go straight to the après-ski.

    Liz X

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    1. That's a brilliant idea, Liz. Miss out the skiing bit and go straight into après-ski. I think it could catch on!

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  4. I love the yellow oilskins image. I too was- and still am- always in the wrong gear, from pink grandad shirts at pony club to a woollen dress at a nightclub and a trip up Blencathra in Doc Marten boots.

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  5. I love the yellow oilskins image. I too was- and still am- always in the wrong gear, from pink grandad shirts at pony club to a woollen dress at a nightclub and a trip up Blencathra in Doc Marten boots.

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  6. Hi Witchmountain. I wish I had a picture of us in our yellow oilskins. On second thoughts, maybe it's good I haven't! I'm glad to hear you've had similar experiences. Going up Blencathra in Doc Martens must have proved a challenge!

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